{"id":14006,"date":"2024-11-07T10:46:34","date_gmt":"2024-11-07T09:46:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stage.lorensbergs.se\/?page_id=14006"},"modified":"2026-05-10T18:20:30","modified_gmt":"2026-05-10T16:20:30","slug":"the-six-influencing-skills","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/lorensbergs.se\/en\/the-six-influencing-skills\/","title":{"rendered":"The six influencing skills"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

In order to influence others you may use different sets of influencing skills<\/strong><\/p>\n

Depending on whom you want to influence, for what purpose, and in which situation. Here are short descriptions of each of the six influencing skills.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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1.<\/p>\n

Listening actively<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Why listen actively?<\/h3>\n

Listening well is critical to our ability to become an effective communicator. Listening is one of the most used influencing skills and one of the most neglected influencing skills. When you are listening actively, you are focusing on what the other person is saying in order to understand what they mean. It is about hearing the other person out before you respond. You are listening to gain information, not necessarily to agree with it. If you fail to listen actively to others, they may not want to listen to you, and you will have no or limited possibilities to influence them.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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    \n
  • Let others speak without interrupting them<\/li>\n
  • Summarise and paraphrase what others say in order to test understanding<\/li>\n
  • Acknowledge feelings when someone looks sad\/upset\/angry<\/li>\n
  • Listen carefully, even when disagreeing with the other\u2019s point of view<\/li>\n
  • Maintain positive relationships by making a point of greeting, small talking and finding out how people feel<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    I\u2019m interested in how you see things\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/article>\n

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    2.<\/p>\n

    Revealing<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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    Why be revealing?<\/h3>\n

    By sharing personal information about yourself, others feel encouraged to reciprocate. People who use this skill readily admit their own areas of uncertainty and mistakes. By openly acknowledging their own limitations and taking a no-defensive attitude toward feedback, they help others to feel more accepted for who they are. On the surface, transparency may appear to some to be a weak and wishy-washy style of influence. It is not. It can be very powerful by building the trust and commitment needed to implement actions and with it a willingness to be influenced. Also, being transparent in a transparent way, what you see and what you infer from that can encourage others to do the same.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
      \n
    • Being transparent when uncertain about an issue<\/li>\n
    • Acknowledge own mistakes without hesitation<\/li>\n
    • Ask for others\u2019 views when uncertain about what to do or what decisions to make<\/li>\n
    • Modelling transparency by sharing observations and feeling<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n

      I\u2019m prepared to share all relevant information about myself and what I see\u2026 so it\u2019s easier for you to do the same\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/article>\n

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      \n

      3.<\/p>\n

      Involving & supporting<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n

      Why involve & support?<\/h3>\n

      By involving and supporting others you increase the commitment of others to the target objective or task. People who use involving & supporting build on other\u2019s ideas and are quick to credit others for their contributions. As with the other influence skills, involving & supporting can be misused to manipulate others. The leader who tries to involve subordinates in a consensus decision-making process when the leader has already chosen a solution is treading on thin ice.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \n
        \n
      • Ask for others opinions and suggestions, especially when they have difficulty expressing themselves<\/li>\n
      • Offer encouragement, rather than criticism<\/li>\n
      • Focus on the positives when evaluating other\u2019s performance<\/li>\n
      • Involve others in my thoughts and plans before making decisions<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
        \n

        You are important, I value your contributions\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/article>\n

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        \n

        4.<\/p>\n

        Suggesting & proving<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
        \n
        \n

        Why suggest & prove?<\/h3>\n

        Suggesting involves presenting possible solutions as a choice of options. By presenting ideas and proposals you take discussions one step further, and avoid getting stuck in the same arguments going back and forth. The essential quality of this skill is the use of facts and logical reasoning.<\/p>\n

        When presenting ideas and proposals you should be able to support them with rational reasons. People who use this skill effectively typically structure their arguments and enumerate the points they want to make so their listeners can follow their logic. The power of this influence skill does not come from an emotional source. Facts and logic are, by definition, emotionally neutral. A person may react to a fact emotionally and thereby be persuaded to behave in a certain way. However, the feelings of the person using proving are meant to be kept out of their argument. The facts are supposed to speak for themselves.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

        \n
          \n
        • Readily present ideas and suggestions<\/li>\n
        • Share possible solutions to problems being discussed<\/li>\n
        • Have a way to come to terms with complex situations by presenting clear, specific, and concise proposals<\/li>\n
        • Come up with ideas how to solve problems the team encounters<\/li>\n
        • Back up suggestions with logic and data appropriate to the situation<\/li>\n
        • Support proposals with solid logic and sound reasoning<\/li>\n
        • Present arguments that are brief and to the point<\/li>\n
        • Argue for ideas with reasons tailored to others concerns<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
          \n

          The most important reason is\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/article>\n

          \n
          \n

          5.<\/p>\n

          Asserting<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
          \n
          \n

          Why assert?<\/h3>\n

          Asserting involves demanding certain behaviour from other people. There is a time and place for asserting which should be done only when you know what the problem is and you know what the solution is.<\/p>\n

          There is a big difference between being too pushy and asserting yourself. By being direct and avoiding the \u201cbeating around the bush\u201d approach you can get your idea across without offending anyone, these essentials are imperative to asserting your needs. People who use this skill effectively typically state their expectations simply, clearly, and directly. The more words you use, the greater the chance for confusion or distraction.<\/p>\n

          Two kinds of assertion situations are:<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Preventive, to gain a clear agreement that will avoid a future conflict.<\/li>\n
          2. Reactive, when a person\u2019s recent or current actions are unacceptable, and you need them to change something.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n
            \n
              \n
            • Make expectations known to others clearly and succinctly, regardless of what others might think<\/li>\n
            • State own expectations or demands firmly and directly regardless of the others\u2019 position or status<\/li>\n
            • Being assertive and stating consequences if they do (or don\u2019t do) what you ask from them<\/li>\n
            • Being straight-forward with people when they do not meet expectations or requirements<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
              \n

              I expect you\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/article>\n

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              \n

              6.<\/p>\n

              Inspiring<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
              \n
              \n

              Why inspire?<\/h3>\n

              Our image of the future drives our actions today. When organisations or groups capture positive imagery internally and make it visible, it starts to drive change in a self-directed way. It creates a sense of focus. Language can touch emotions. It can inspire or motivate. It has the ability to anger or elate. Using emotive language is influencing by using words and delivery that get through to, and touch, others. People who use this skill effectively typically use powerful words and metaphors that evoke images and strong feelings in our minds. They seem to have the ability to describe common occurrences in words that raise them above the mundane.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

              \n
                \n
              • Communicate desired goals by using metaphors, analogies and word pictures<\/li>\n
              • Engage others in creating optimistic prospects, likelihood and potential outcomes, by using stories and positive examples<\/li>\n
              • Present ideas and proposals by using words and metaphors that get through to, and touch, people<\/li>\n
              • Present ideas convincingly and use powerful words and phrases that evoke images in our minds eye<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
                \n

                It is possible\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/article>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                In order to influence others you may use different sets of influencing skills Depending on whom you want to influence, for what purpose, and in which situation. 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